thus making me awesome and them whores
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
