You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
