You just made me feel so damn special
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize