Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it hurts more in the daytime
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Randomize
