My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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