No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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