guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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