Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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