White coat. Heels.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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