Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
