bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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