if you like me you must not know who I am
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
