My liver just broke up with me...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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