oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pants are for mortals
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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