Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize