I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
that is very illegal...i love you.
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