I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
