shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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