i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
