none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
