3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
