just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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