You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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