You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
