I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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