just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
