using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize