i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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