I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
