He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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