i think my mom watched the whole time
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
