I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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