Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
