She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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