I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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