Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
