I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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