I wish I could teleport
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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