a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
