i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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