honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
