You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
