We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
