I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
