why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
