im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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