My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
