Porn is love you can see.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
