5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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