i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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