some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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