Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize