going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
