So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
