dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize