i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
