Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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