HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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